Spectrobes: Origins - Menahat's off-screen scenes and other things #2

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NOTES: Third-person is still my weak spot, but I think it's starting to grow on me. Here's my shot at something a little more dialogue-heavy. I like to try to incorporate each character's personality in the way that they speak, too. I feel like it'd be good so, if I just put each bit of dialogue down without indicating who's speaking, it wouldn't be too dificult to imagine who's talking. Anyways, here's chapter two.

Chapter 2

“You want to head into the Great Desert? Will I let you through?”
The man at the gate shook his head firmly,
“Sorry buddy, none shall pass.”

It was incredibly rare for Neal to become disappointed in anything, but he couldn’t help but think to himself, All that walking, and for what?
The plan was supposed to be simple: move from one place to the next, and already, he was only a few steps away from his destination. But then, the one thing obstructing his path, of all things on this desolate planet, was a gateman in a hardhat.

Expressions of Neal

Enthusiasm

Disappointment

Knowledgeability

Confusion, Knowledgeability #2

Disagreement

Agreement

Once again, I have no idea if there's more, but I'll update it as I find anything new

Spectrobes: Origins - Menahat's off-screen scenes and other things #1

START | << PREVIOUS | NEXT >>

NOTES: Here's the first entry of this fanfic, looking at the point of views from every main character that appears on Menahat, except from Rallen & Jeena. I thought this would be interesting. A lot of the ideas I had are written in script-form, so I've tried to convert it into third-person (probably my most challenging writing style). To be honest, I'm not sure if this should all be in third-person, or if I should change between different writing styles to fit certain parts of the narrative better (i.e. third-person, first-person diary/journal entries, script form, etc.). Guess I'll think about it.

Chapter 1

PTCHOOO…

        CRAAAASH!!!

                        Cough..! Cough!

                                        “Ow…”

Neal laid strapped to a broken chair. Everywhere he could feel, there pulsed aches and stings, and for minutes he refused to move in fear that the pain would get worse. The impact must’ve been so strong that he swore he was seeing stars. For a moment, he was even afraid he’d lost his legs since he could hardly feel them. Thankfully, they were both still attached to his body, and thankfully the pain didn’t hurt any more than it did in checking so.

Peep

What're they looking at?

Flippin' tha birdie

Look at these wannabe bad guys

More database crap

Their database portraits are now on the internet :D

I have no idea what use this will have for me, but whatever

You know what?

When I do digital illustrations of these guys, I think I should stop being lazy and actually draw that retro-looking groovy patten on the yellow parts of their outfits

It's now June 2025