Villain Interview Meme!

Source: Villain Interview By: ~Anonymous-Muffin

Rules:

1. Use no more than 5 villains.

2. They must be OCs  lol

3. Answer each question in first person.

4. Please link me in the comments and credit me in the description.

5. Tag someone, please!

Greetings, and welcome to the "Villians Interview Meme". Whether you like it or not, you've been brought here to answer some questions about yourself. This is a recording, pausing and starting controlled by your author, so you cannot attack me.  If you begin to fight with one another, you WILL be sedated/strait-jacketed. Alright now, let's start.

[Note: There will be a ton of headcanons and guesses here.]

Would you show the viewers a shred of kindness by allowing us to know your name(s)?

???: Heya! I'm Gorrik! 

???: Zig.

???: Beht.

Are you male or female?

Zig: Male!

Beht: I am also a man.

Gorrik: Me too!

How old are you in human years? 

Zig: 28 here!

Beht: I'm 29.

Gorrik: I'm 26 years old, yo! 

What exactly are you?

Zig: We're human! What didja think?

Beht: If that's not what they're asking, then we're the "special subordinates" of our boss, Dyrus.

Zig: Ohh, and lemme tell ya, you don't wanna mess with us!

Beht: Darn right.

Gorrik: We're his treasure hunters, special information hunters and special... free stuff hunters!

Zig: Ah, shaddap Gorrik! Yer makin' us look like we're artefact looters, spies and thieves.

Beht: Which we pretty much are. We're, in its simplest, criminals. 

Gorrik: That's a bit of a strong word to use!

Do you have any powers?

Zig: Oh, I wish!

Beht: Unfortunately, we don't. (Sigh)

Gorrik: I feel like I'd make too many mistakes if I had any powers! I'm such a klutz! It's painful!

Who is your archrival, and what do you hate about them? Do they have powers?

Zig: Those two space officers and their stinkin' Spectrobe creatures! They have all that magic cosmo crap, too -- makes 'em think they're sooo special.

Gorrik: Oh yeah! They're kind of rude to us, too. Super uncalled for!

Beht: To be fair, they can summon these ancient beasts and fight off the Krawl like it's nothing, as well as uncover and explore all 7 ruins of the Great desert faster than any archaeologist can. But maybe that doesn't mean they're better than us. Darn space officers.

Zig: Dammit Beht! Guess they ain't our rivals, then! 

Gorrik: What about that dumb luck explorer? Neal? He's always finding the same treasure we want to find!

Beht: Good point.

Zig: Then, Neal it is!

Do you rule over any sort of land, country, county?

Gorrik: Nope! No way! No sir! 

Zig: Ah man, sometimes I wish! We'd be insanely rich and do whatever we wanted, and ain't nobody tellin' us what to do! 

Beht: I second that. 

Gorrik: Ruling just sounds all too complicated, if ya ask me! 

Beht: Ah, that's also right. I'm sure we wouldn't be all that good at it either, and half the time people hate you. So, guess there's nothing much in it for us.

Zig: Bah, then I guess that's true!

Why are you considered "the bad guy"?

Gorrik: Me? Bad? Nope, never, no siree!

Beht: Gorrik, we do shady business for a living. For example, heh heh... you remember the time we had to threaten a guy to teach us how to fix the boss's special printer? 

Gorrik: Oh yeah! That was fun! A bit of a scaredy cat, but he made for a fun chat!

Zig: Yup, they were good times, alright! And we earned plenty, even from running an errand!

Beht: That's just what we get for working under a man that's the embodiment of filthy rich. Emphasis on "filthy".

Zig: H-Hey watch yer mouth! Don't you let the boss hear that!

Do you consider yourself purely evil?

Beht: I dunno.

Zig: Whadya mean "I dunno"?! Them damn Krawl things were more evil than we ever were -- we ain't nothin' compared to them.

Beht: But, we ARE the subordinates of a man whose morals are... questionable. And we sure do enjoy that, don't we?

Zig: Yeah, but come on... We ain't THAT evil, are we now?

Beht: Suppose everyone thinks they're the good guy.

Gorrik: True! Absolutely! I don't think I'm evil, either, yo!

What do you think of the others in the quiz room?

Gorrik: Aww, I love those two to bits! Zig's so inspiring! Beht's so suave! No matter what happens to us, we stick together! 

Zig: ...

Gorrik: ...

Beht: ... ... ...Yeah, I'm going to take a break and freshen up a bit. 

Zig: Way to make things awkward, Gorrik!

Gorrik: Well, what do YOU think of us, then? Tell 'em!

Zig: A motormouth -- that's you. Beht? So full of himself!

Gorrik: And something more on the positive side?

Zig: Uhh... I GUESS I could say you're strong. And optimistic -- keeps me sane! Beht? He knows to keep us outta trouble, I guess. He's cool, too. ...THERE! Ya happy?

Beht, in the washroom...

Beht: Ah... Zig gets a little too bold for his own good, but I like his determination. He's keeps us going in the right direction. Gorrik's a bit too much to handle at times, but he's got a good heart. Great for loosening things up when Zig and I get too serious. ...Now I just hope none of them heard that.

On a rate of one to ten, how powerful do you think the villain next to you is?

Zig: I trust Gorrik with guard duty, so I'll give him an 8. Beht's pretty handy at my side, so an 8 as well. But yer both pretty annoyin' and dumb as hell, so that deducts one point each. 7 and 7.

Gorrik: You guys both get a 9 from me!

Beht: Wow... I was gonna give you guys both a 5, but since you're so generous, I'll raise you guys to 6.

Now, how powerful do you consider yourself to be?

Zig: If I had to give myself somethin, maybe an... 6.5. I do much of more the thinkin' and talkin' than the heavy liftin'. 

Beht: Hm... Perhaps a 6. But, I've got some real smarts.

Gorrik: 7!

Zig/Beht: Only a 7?!

Do you have an evil laugh?

Gorrik: I sure laugh a lot but not evilly! The next best one is Beht!

Beht: Me, eh?

Gorrik: Yeah! You laugh whenever you think about shady things!

Beht: I don't.

Zig: Helmet Head's right, yer always findin' somethin' shady to laugh about!

Beht: Oh really, now?

Zig: Aha! -- I got proof. Say, Beht... How abouts the three of us steal a cop car sometime for the hell of it? Heh heh heh!

Beht: Heh heh... Sounds delightful!

Gorrik: Oh, so now that makes both of you!

Do ya fear death?

Beht: Nah.

Zig: Well, ya should! Whenever we're in danger ya don't look like you give a damn!

Gorrik: He's right y'know! At least Zig and I are here to save ya!

What's your goal, exactly? Or are you just evil for the heck of it?

Beht: We like them big bucks. The boss is our numero uno happiness bank.

Gorrik: The boss just gives us these tasks and we do 'em. But we sure mess up a lot! Oh, whatever! I love when he gives us attention! Praise! Promises for future victories!

Zig: If Zig wants action, he gets the action! The boss's style is everythin' I ask for! All thrills and doin' -- no nonsense, none at all!

Do you have henchmen/a henchman?

Beht: Uhhhh...

Gorrik: We ARE henchmen! But Zig's the leader of the three of us, so I guess Zig's got henchmen while being a henchman himself! Weird, huh? Ain't it?

Zig: Exacto! This team's gotta keep it together somehow, otherwise the boss is gonna fire our asses, and we don't want that, now?

What do you drive?

Gorrik: We drive the boss nuts, if anything! I hate when that happens! (Sigh)

Zig: That motorised tricycle!

Beht: Comes in real handy for the three of us. Oh, do I love to drive that thing.

Gorrik: Oh! And sometimes the boss lets us borrow one of his cars! He's got pretty awesome looking ones! Although he never gives us those particular ones, just the normal, lame ones...  Aw man, so unfair!

What do you do when you aren't trying to do whatever you're trying to achieve?

Gorrik: I like to hang around with the boss' actual employees! Usually at the cafeterias, pubs, rec rooms -- they always have something interesting to say! ...The boss doesn't like me hanging around them, though. Oh, can I blame him?! I could spill the beans! Let the cat out the bag! 

Beht: From time to time, I go to the archives. Yeah, I've really taken up reading and researching as a hobby in the past few years. You always learn something new.

Zig: I like to go fishin'! Or play cards with some of the guys at camp. Either that or I'm just hangin' round the boss. Not that he actually listens to what I have to say, but surely he appreciates the company.

Beht: Heh. Uh-huh.

Zig: Whaddaya mean by that?!

Beht: (In his thoughts) Oh, who's going to tell him?

Were you ever a double-crosser (pretended to be on the opposite team, then stabbed them in the back)?

Beht: Oh, definitely, heh heh. Remember our first visit to that strange weaponsmith?

Gorrik: Oh yeah!

Zig: Yeah, but the old bastard saw right through us!

Beht: Right.

Gorrik: But at least we got what we were after in the end! Unfortunately, we had to resort to force, but that's okay! That's normal with us, yo!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do you lie? *gives them truth syrum*

Zig: I'm usually pretty blunt, but sometimes ya gotta lie to keep yerself a free man! 4 outta 10.

Beht: I'm not really the type to keep secrets or hide things so easily. I'd say a 3 out of 10.

Gorrik: When I try to lie, I'm not good at it, so I just blurt out the truth by accident! Don't trust me with a secret! 1 out of 10!

What color is your: hair?

Gorrik: Brown!

Zig: Mine's more jet black.

Beht: Ah, guess mine's sorta in between. Dark brown.

Eyes?

Zig: Black, dark brown in the light -- there ain't no difference.

Gorrik: Same's me!

Beht: I guess I'm the same, too.

Zig: You GUESS???

Skin?

Zig: It's sorta... this... I dunno, how you describe it. Ours is sort of light-ish caramel-ish. 

Gorrik: Aw man. I'm craving some caramel popcorn now. Why'd you describe it like that?

Beht: Hey, think of it this way -- at least it's kinda doing us a favour in a "certain department", if you know what I mean. Eh?

Whats your uniform/favorite outfit?

Gorrik: For work, I wear this cape and hardhat combo! Practical and it looks cool too! The boss thinks it looks stupid, but I think it looks really cool! I just don't get him, sometimes! Usually though, I do wear something that sort of looks like some biker getup. Y'know with all that sleeveless lether jacket and bandanna?

Zig: I got my longcoat an' scarf for work. Hot n' windy during the day, freezin' during the night -- it's perfect! Uh, casual wear? I dunno, maybe like an aloha shirt? Bah, who cares?!

Beht: Hmm... What I wear for work is great for the outdoors. Leather vest, leather pants, chaps, hat, mask... I've got the whole cowboy look. My casual wear is a little plain, and I think I like my work clothes better. I guess nothing's stopping me from wearing them any time I want.

Have you ever gone mad?

Zig: No, not yet, but I will soon! That boss of ours better change up our work location quick, or I'm gonna lose it!

Gorrik: I haven't! Not me! Ain't gonna happen, yo!

Beht: Hm... Not us, but definitely we've seen it happen to the boss. More times than we should, and more times than I can count. And three quarters the time, it's our fault.

If so, did you enjoy it?

Gorrik: What? You mean like his fits of rage? D'you think the boss enjoys all that?

Beht: I dunno. Maybe he does when he gives me the suplex, slams his desk chair at you,  or throws Zig inside of his trash can, kicking it after.

Zig: Oh, shaddap Beht!

Gorrik: Then maybe we shouldn't try it!

Zig: Yeah, n-no way!

Have any family?

Zig: Ah, yeah, I got two half-brothers bein' them two! Our pops ain't the most -- how d'ya say? -- stable of men. The wacko had multiple lovers, and three of 'em ended up with a kid!

Beht: Yeah, the kids being us.

Gorrik: I think you guys are my one and only family!

Beht: Well, I guess you can say that since we're pretty much the equivalent to being disowned when our parents found out our jobs, and I can't say we regret what we do.

Zig: Damn it, you two! Way to make us look like kinless losers!

Gorrik: At least we have my one aunt that likes us!

Zig: Oh, that's true!

Have you ever been in love? If you have, do they love you back?

Beht: I wouldn't say so, no. Maybe once in my high school years, but that was a goner. Puppy love doesn't count, does it, no?

Zig: Eeehhh, I can't picture it -- love was never on my bucket list. I feel like romance and adventurin' get along like cats and dogs!

Gorrik: Ooh, maybe with the girl at that one restaurant back on Wyterra?

Beht: She'd never like you back.

Gorrik: Harsh!

Can you cook?

Zig: Sorta. My mama once said I was a natural, but I disagree!

Beht: I'm pretty awful.

Gorrik: I'm okay at it, but cleaning up's the worst! I hate it!

Do you despise the Earth?

Zig: I dunno, but I sure despise the whole of Menahat! Ah man, why're we even workin' here, anyways?!

Beht: Well, Menahat used to be a real darn pretty planet before it got totally nuked by the Krawl. Knowing that this planet suffered that much, maybe that'll make you feel better.

Gorrik: I love the planet! I heard the guys back at camp wants to try bring it back to normal!

What's your pet peeve?

Zig: God, I just HATE slow walkers. And when people ain't straight to the point. Like, I don't wanna hear things all sugar coated or fancied up! Oh, and also when people stare at me for too long. Or when-- ah, dagnabbit, there's just too much!

Beht: Hmm... I guess mine's when things aren't even that bad and people freak out.

Zig: That's probably because ya don't notice when yer life's in danger!

Beht: Okay fine. Then, my other pet peeve is when people  -- you two especially -- don't put books back on the shelf alphabetically. Now, why would you do that?

Zig: Well, is it by author or by title?!

Beht: Author, obviously.

Zig: Bah, not that it matters because I don't care and I just shove 'em in, anyway! Y'know, like ordinary people.

Beht: Tsk... If we weren't in this interview, I'd have punched you right about now.

Gorrik: My pet peeve? Hmm... Oh! Maybe it's when people snap their fingers at my face to get my attention! I know I get distracted easily -- I mean easily! -- but I think that's just plain rude! Mean! Patronising! Wait... is that even the right word?!

What kind of music to you like?

Gorrik: Any music that makes me wanna PAR-TAYYY!!! Big beat! Techno! Everything!

Zig: I listen to just about anythin' with energy! Mostly rock n' blues. 

Beht: Yeah, I like rock, too. But something a little bit slower.

Gorrik: Now that I think it, there's got to be something we all like. Y'know, since we share the same playlists! CDs! Radio!

Zig: Oh, then that oughta be ska.

Beht: True.

Gorrik: OH YEAAH! I love ska!

What's your favorite food?

Zig: Tough... Probably some spicy food. Like, ah, instant noodles!

Beht: Mac n' cheese. I'm a basic sorta guy.

Zig: You ain't.

Gorrik: I like ice cream, yo! It's the best for this weather!

Are you bored, want to kill me, satisfied with this quiz, etc.?

Zig: Kill you, eh? Heh heh heh!

Gorrik: D-DON'T ACTUALLY!!!

Zig: Yikes, I was kiddin'! What? didn't think I could be funny?

Beht: Eh, this quiz was fine.

Gorrik: I thought this was great! I had fun!

Who's your favorite villain other than yourself?

Beht: Our boss, Dyrus... Heh heh...

Zig: Ya really just called the boss a villain?!

Gorrik: He's gonna kill you!!! You're gonna get into big trouble if he hears you said that!

Do you think you're gonna die in your story?

Zig: Well, GODDAMN, I hope not?!

Beht: Wait til we strike it rich, and then we'll die happy.

Gorrik: I don't wanna die, yo!

Well, I have to go, and I'm sure you have a lot of evil scheming to do. Peace out! (Or should I say "destruction out!" in your cases?) For your creators, go tag someone! Please, it won't take long!

Anyone :D

Anything to add now that I'm done rambling?

Nope!